Owls' Court

Oh, The Pain

I haven’t been this disgusted by a book in a long, long time.

I picked up a second-hand copy of Robert Newcomb’s The Fifth Sorceress a couple of months ago, and I finally began reading it last week.

It’s dreadful.

Every character is described from head to toe. Their emotions are described in detail. The environment is described in painstaking detail as well, down to the colour of the marble used in the walls of the palace. The first hundred and twenty pages are a set-up where characters talk about the past two hundred years, with phrases such as, “As you know, Tristan, blah blah blah ,” simply in order to have the last two-thirds of the book make sense. If an author has to do that, it means s/he hasn’t plotted carefully enough, or there ought to have been a prequel setting it up correctly. Newcomb should have set the first third of the novel two hundred years ago, so that the reader could have experienced it first-hand, rather than in repeatedly dull exposition as revealed to the young protagonist.

Worse, it’s the age-old wizards vs sorceresses storyline. If handled well, this plot can work just as any other plot. In Newcomb’s hands, however, it’s dumbed down to all-magic-wielding-women-are-evil, and-men-are-noble-enough-to-take-vows-to-never-do-harm. All the sorceresses have wicked and depraved sexual appetites, a by-product of working with dark magic. It wasn’t hard to figure out what gets Newcomb all excited, believe me. A woman with a whip. Every time. Oh, and you can tell the sorceresses are the Bad Guys: they all have staggering beauty with an edge of evil, he tells us over and over again, and they all have long fingernails and perfect enormous breasts. And they use men like Kleenex.

There is no character development anywhere. We are always told, we never discover for ourselves. The entire narrative is superficial. And that, Dear Readers, is unforgivable. I could take the whole evil staggeringly-beautiful-sorceresses thing if the narrative style had depth or any other sort of redeeming quality.

I threw it across the room last night. It’s rare that I don’t read a book to its end, just to give it a chance. (Come to think of it, I three Terry Goodkind's Wizard's First Rule across the room as well for the very same reasons, lo these many years ago when it was first released.) Before I threw it, though, I skipped around the last two-thirds of the book looking for more interesting scenes, and found all of three (interestingly enough, between the protagonist’s abducted sister and the sorceresses). I also found a lot of the main character crying “You’ll pay for this,” and immersing himself in self-loathing for not preventing the first coup of the sorceresses’ Master Plan (which ought to have been either the beginning of the novel or the end, but instead is buried somewhere in the middle after interminable and unnecessary set-up).

As a treat and a warning, here’s a sample of the writing style:

He turned to check on Shailiha as she lay sleeping. Her impending pregnancy did little to disturb her great beauty. Her long, golden hair and her tall, exquisite form had come directly from her mother, Queen Morganna. But her hazel eyes, sensuous mouth, and happy, compassionate nature were all her own. He shook his head sadly, thinking of how little Shailiha and her twin brother Tristan knew of their ultimate potential. How much had been kept from them both, and how it had broken his heart every day to have to keep such secrets from them. He cast his eyes to the valley far below, and farther out to the capital city of Tammerland, which had been his home for over three hundred years. The view was spectacular. If this was where Tristan always came to be alone, the old one could understand why.

“Impending pregnancy?” Ye gods, that’s unforgivable. "Queen Morganna?" We know who the queen is, and that Shailiha is her daughter; why not simply say "from her mother?" And that foreshadowing about how these two characters have potential they do not (cannot! oh, the pain and sorrow!) know of? It would be fine if this was the only mention. BUT IT ISN’T – Newcomb goes out of his way to mention it EVERY FIVE PAGES.

Bad writing. Bad book. I'm going to go read some Baker's 12 to take the taste out of my mouth.

I Wasn't Going to Say Goodbye

What do you mean, the first season of Farscape ends like that?

Damn them for knowing how to do a decent cliffhanger. Damn the season sets for being so expensive.

Damn.

King Arthur Review

Not much else we could do yeaterday after four hours of sleep, so we went out to lunch (and nearly wept on the waitress' neck for the quality of food; remember, we were in the US of A for four days) and then caught a movie. We chose to see King Arthur

My four-word review:

No guts, no heart.

It's an interesting theory, and I enjoyed the presentation of the three sides to the conflict, but it felt like there should have been documentary narration over it. It was stoics, not stirring. It felt as if there were chunks missing. At least they cut out the whole stupid Lancelot/Guinevere thing. And, I am sad to say, I was so tired that I nodded off during the final battle. (The glass of white wine I had with lunch probably didn't help.) Best sequence: the ice battle. Best knight: Gawain. Fabulous costumes. Great designs for the native Britons (Woads -- honestly, what a dull name).

Excellent music, though. Zimmer's score is a nice contrast to Goldsmith's music to First Knight.

We won't own it, despite our love for all things native Briton, armour, and epic battle sequences.

Have I mentioned how sick I am of Bach's Peasant Cantata, and his Coffee Cantata? Honestly, there are other cantatas out there. Please, CBC, play them.

Bits and Pieces

Reese Witherspoon as Becky Sharp in Vanity Fair? I don't know whether to be thrilled because Vanity Fair is coming out on the big screen, or to shudder because of the casting of the central role. I'd've liked to have seen what Cate Blanchett could have done with the role, for example. For those interested, the movie is rated PG-13 for Some Sensuality, Partial Nudity, and A Brief Violent Image (which is, no doubt, the scene where Becky throws the book out of the carriage window).

B12 is back from its month-long holiday!

We leave for our annual spiritual retreat before the sun rises on Thursday morning. They appear to be having the same weather we're having: fair, cool nights, and the chance of scattered thunderstorms. At least I know what to pack: layers. We picnicked in Angrignon Park last night after the CMS Lughnassadh ritual and graduation ceremony, and I'm really glad that I wore socks and runners instead of sandals, and that I brought a sweater. People who complain about not having our usual sweltering heat should be shot as a public service to others.

Being Excellent Literary News

Good news for all the Caroline Stevermer fans out there! A sequel to Sorcery and Cecelia is finally being released after all these years, again co-authored with Patricia Wrede! (And I know there are a few Stevermer fans who read this journal, and might well be more by the time you've finished reading this entry. If you enjoy Jane Austen and Martha Wells, you'll enjoy these, too. When the first book was released, it was described as "Jane Austen and Georgette Heyer have J.R.R. Tolkien to tea--or chocolate," and "a Regency Romance, with magic." If you've read Patricia Wrede's Magician's Ward or Mairelon the Magician, these are set in the same world).

The Grand Tour: Being a Revelation of Matters of High Confidentiality and Greatest Importance, Including Extracts from the Intimate Diary of a Noblewoman and the Sworn Testimony of a Lady of Quality Kate and Cecy and their new husbands, Thomas and James, are off on a Grand Tour. Their plans? To leisurely travel about the Continent, take in a few antiquities, and--of course--purchase fabulous Parisian wardrobes.

But once they arrive in France, mysterious things start to happen. Cecy receives a package containing a lost coronation treasure, Thomas's valet is assaulted, and Kate loses a glove. Soon it becomes clear that they have stumbled upon a dastardly, magical plot to take over Europe.

Now the four newlyweds must embark on a daring chase to thwart the evil conspiracy. And there's no telling the trouble they'll get into along the way. For when you mix Kate and Cecy and magic, you never know what's going to happen next!

Cecy and Kate, loose on the Continent with their new spouses? One knows perky, sardonic banter and catatrophe simply must occur. It's being released in hardcover this September; I know I'll be reading it. I might even buy the first book in hardcover to match it. (I often graduate my favourite books to hardcover, and my mass-market paperback is pretty tattered, being originally second-hand, passed around several hands, sold by a borrower without my knowledge, and being re-discovered in another second-hand shop with my name still inside.) The title of the first book has been expanded to Sorcery and Cecelia or the Enchanted Chocolate Pot: Being the Correspondence of Two Young Ladies of Quality Regarding Various Magical Scandals in London and the Country, another delightful description.

There's a co-author web page called, appropriately enough, The Enchanted Chocolate Pot. It says The Grand Tour will be available in December, but it's a bit out of date.

Oldest Altar Unearthed

How cool is this?

Bulgaria Boasts Europe's Oldest Altar

Lifestyle: 4 August 2004, Wednesday.

Bulgarian archeologists disclosed the oldest altar in Europe.

It was found in a mound located near the Bulgarian village Kapitan Dimitrievo. The altar dates back from 6000 B.C.

The mound is as high as 13 meters and has a diameter of 140 meters. It is said to be one of the oldest historical landmarks in Bulgaria.

That's the entire article; the original can be found here. Wren's Nest over at Witchvox adds that:

ANCIENT SCRIPT UNCOVERED IN BULGARIA

Bulgarian archaeologists found a primitive scripture supposed to have been used by Thracian tribes.

The pictograms, painted on 3, 000 year-old ceramic utensils, were found in the grandiose religious centre Perperikon.

(That one's here.)

No doubt there will eventually be archaeological reports, anthropological reconstructions, and other research released. Utterly fascinating.

Yes, I'm a Music Snob...

And in this article, Norman Lebrecht has a couple of excellent points regarding what the Walkman (and its successors) has done to our musical tastes while bringing music to the mobile masses.

Sony Walkman - Music to whose ears?
By Norman Lebrecht (July 26, 2004, La Scena Musicale)

(Also via Arts & Letters Daily)

Taking the Mystery Out Of Deja Vu

The Tease of Memory, by David Glenn

Psychologists are dusting off 19th-century explanations of déjà vu. Have we been here before? (July 23, 2004, The Chronicle of Higher Education)

(Via Arts & Letters Daily)

Thank Gods It's Based on the Book (And Other Henson News)

Yes, the Muppets are about to film The Wizard of Oz.

Rumoured cast list:

Kermit the Frog will be the Scarecrow

Fozzie Bear will be the Cowardly Lion

The Great Gonzo will be the Tin Man

Miss Piggy will be pulling double duty as both the Wicked Witch of the West and Glinda the Good Witch

In a really cool bit of casting, Pepe the Prawn will take on the role of Dorothy's dog Toto.

And the role of Dorothy will played by a yet to be cast human guest star.

And for those who didn't know, there's to be a Fraggle Rock DVD released in late summer; alas, it only has episodes 1.1, 1.2, and 1.3, but it's Fraggle Rock, you know? More! More!

If you ever saw Henson's The Storyteller, the first series with John Hurt is now available on DVD (watch for Sean Bean!); the second series with Michael Gambon, the Greek Myths, will be released in September 2004. And if you never saw it, then trust me, the episodes are exquisite, and if you're at all a fan of mythology, folklore, and/or Henson, you'll want to see these.

(You too can waste hours over at the Muppet Central website!)

The Importance of Supernatural Belief

Christopher Whittle has written an interesting article on the presence of paranormal belief in modern culture, published in the March 2004 Skeptical Inquirer and available for reading here.

A sample:

We are taught about angels, witches, devils, spirits, monsters, gods, etc. virtually in the cradle. Some of these paranormal beliefs are secular, some are religious, and the most pernicious are crossover beliefs, beliefs that are at times secular and at other times religious. Santa Claus, angels and vampires, ghosts and souls, and the Easter Bunny are examples of cross-over beliefs. Crossover beliefs are attractive to children (free candy and presents), and on that basis they are readily accepted. The devils, ghosts, and monsters are reinforced through Halloween rituals and the mass media. As the child matures, some crossover beliefs, called "teaser" paranormal beliefs, are exposed as false. Traditional religious concepts are reinforced as "true and real." They give us Santa Claus and we believe in an omniscient, beneficent old elf and then they replace Santa with God, who is typically not as generous as Santa Claus and whose disapproval has more serious consequences than a lump of coal. We learn about God and Santa Claus simultaneously; only later are we told that Santa Claus is just a fairy tale and God is real.

In a synergy of cultural indoctrination and the individual's cognitive and affective development, a general belief in the paranormal and the supernatural forms. Once we have knowledge of the paranormal, we can then experience it. One cannot have Bigfoot's baby until one is aware that there is a Bigfoot, or aliens, or ghosts. In other words, you cannot see a ghost until someone has taught you about ghosts. Countervailing influences, experiential knowledge, and knowledge of realistic influence have little effect on paranormal beliefs because they are applied after the belief is established through cultural and familial authority.

I don't necessarily agree with him throughout the entire article -- there are a couple of leaps -- but he raises some interesting points.

(Found via Arts & Letters Daily.)

Fool's Fate

I forgot to mention that I finished Fool's Fate while I was gone. I can see what Ginger means when she says that she's not quite fine with the end of Fitz's story. I was impressed at the skill (no pun) with which story elements from three trilogies were wrapped up in general, however. It's not a completely happy ending; there was loss, things weren't too easy, and Robin Hobb deliberately didn't take everything away from any of the protagonists, nor reward them completely. In the end, it just might have been the only way to end it, really.

Shrek 2 Review

Just as good, but different, and much fun. Having seen MI2 only a couple of weeks ago meant that I was the one laughing louder than anyone else in the theatre at the scene with Pinocchio descending into the dungeon from the roof of the tower. And Puss is my newest fave Antonio Banderas part. I kept hoping it was his voice. I love trying to figure out voice actors in any animated film, and although my guess was Banderas for Puss, and my mum picked out Rupert Everett as Charming right away, I missed John Cleese as well as Julie Andrews of all people. All in all, great pacing, nice new designs, and a solid story that doesn't rehash or cheapen the first.

Oh, and I saw a full-length preview for The Incredibles. What a riot. But then, superhero humour amuses me.

For all you Firefly fans, Nathan Fillon posted an entry on the Firefly Blog about his first day of shooting on the film Serenity.

Speaking thereof, this is the first promotional poster for the film:

(Found via Whedonesque.)

Was anyone else as bored by last night's leadership debate as I was? It did absolutely nothing for me. I usually enjoy the debates, but this told me nothing new, revealed no new information (policy-wise or otherwise), and was in general an exercise in futility.

I did 2.7K on the book yesterday, brining my new total to 60,852. I was disappointed. I think it's due to the fact that I made the mistake of calculating that five days of 4K each would finish the book, so now anything lower than 3.5K feels like a failure. AT the end of the day I look at my creeping total word count and panic.

Besides the number-crunching crisis, I was very happy with the content of the work I did yesterday. In general it was a great day. Ceri gave me preliminary feedback from her reading of the text and it was positive, so that on top of an inspiring book I finished in the morning gave me lots of impetus to dig in and write.

And I also got a shipment of secondhand books in yesterday's mail, which included Paracelsus' Archidoxes of Magic and Pliny's History of the Natural World, both of which I've been waiting for to use as sources for various chapters. Now if the copy of Carmina Gadelica I ordered would just arrive, I'd be thrilled.

Forthcoming

I was explaining to HRH today that my life pretty much doesn't exist after July 1. It's not that I'm booked, it's just that I'm so focused on July 1 being the deadline for the manuscript, plus my parents will be in town, and I'll be doing the final concert of the season that night (which is the only reason I will not be downtown at the Jazz Festival listening to Susie Arioli) that it's the Big Thing I'm Planning For. Only an e-mail from Debra the other day reminded me that I'm camping July 2-5 at Awakening Isis (which was fortunate). It was while I was relating this to him that I realised that I haven't yet had a birthday this year.

"Yes," said HRH. "Any idea what you want? People are starting to ask."

Know what I want? I can't even remember what day it is, let alone conceive of celebrating the joyous anniversary of my thirty-third year on the planet. And he wants gift suggestions?

So I've updated the wish list, for those who need to know. And I s'pose there ought to be a pub night. Don't ask me when until after July 1, though, okay? Please?

Found at Locus Online:

Laura Freas advises: "When you next see the newest Harry Potter movie, watch for the scene in the classroom where a picture of a werewolf is projected on a screen. They bought the rights to reproduce Kelly Freas' werewolf from his interior for [H. Warner Munn's] The Werewolf of Ponkert."

Cool.

Apparently the forty-five minutes of restored material in the director's cut of Underworld improve the movie, which couldn't have been hard to do.

*shrug*

Life in an Occult Shop

Oh My Gods! May 19 2004

Oh My Gods! March 5 2003

and of course

Oh My Gods! March 10 2004

Seriously.

Good -- I Need the Shelf Space

Is every book going to be bigger than the previous one?

No, definitely not, or book seven would be around the weight of a baby hippopotamus. According to the plan for book six, it will be quite a bit shorter than 'Order of the Phoenix'. I am not going to swear on my children's lives that that is going to be the case, but I am 99% certain of it.

J.K. Rowling has her own official web site, which I've never known, or even thought to check out until today.

Venus Transit

Things I was unaware of:

Mention Venus transit, and I'm there. The skeptic in me never adopted the pentacle as a personal religious symbol until I learned its origin: it's a two-dimensional plot of the eight-year Venus cycle. OK, I said those many years ago, now I can begin to understand why this symbol is sacred, and to source it to antiquity and not some made-up-recently, cool-and-groovy, let's-call-it-ours creative moment.

Wow. I knew it had been used by several religions (including early Christianity, where it represented the five wounds of Christ), but I never knew the Venus connection.

(Found via Goddessing. Her original source can be found here.)

Spoiler-Free Film Review

This is the first chance I've had to sit down at the computer since I saw Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, so here's my spoiler-free, four-word review:

Awesome. Best one yet.

More Costumey Goodness

This fabulous action shot was taken by our own Poison Ivy. (No shot of the legs, but it does prove that both sides of the skirt were slit all the way up to there.) Another source picture is next to it.

Gathering of Powered Persons

Many, many thanks go out to Ceri and Scott for hosting the third annual Superhero Party, and giving me an excuse to create one of my best costumes ever. Thank you, George Perez, for coming up with a more exciting costume than the original. Whee! Here's you are, complete with one of my source pictures:

More proof that I married an archetype, and not a man at all: HRH won Best Costume for his portrayal of Mike Mignola's Hellboy.

Ad finally, rumour has it that Montreal's F/SF bookshop never would have closed if the manager and the owner had dressed like this more often:

An excellent evening: fabulous and imaginative costumes all around; good conversation; lots of laughs. And now I have to start thinking of something for the fourth annual party. And, of course, there's Hallowe'en first. Drat. This is the hardest part, you know: coming up with the idea.

(A veritable Who's Who of powered persons on the guest list may be found at the Third Annual Superhero Party Gallery. Viewings of the Second and First Annual Parties are also available. All photos by Scott.)